The colors of life
by LylSev
Summary: She lost her husband and her son in the accident. Will Addison and her daughter make it? Will they find the sweet escape in France? PLEASE READ AND REVIEW. WRITE ME IF YOU LIKE IT. thanks a lot
1. The start of the end

Addison has to deal with the death of her son and husband. Will she and her 5 years old daughter make it?

I don't own GA, Three colors or Chocolate. this is just my poor fantasy. But Carly is totally mine :P!

**PLEASE READ AND REVIEW **

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Addison Forbes Montgomery Sloan was all in black this day. Black long dress, tight hair, she looked fabulous but sad, she was pale but she didn't cry. She was calm and cold, she looked at the two graves and she didn't even listen what the priest was talking about. One week ago her lovely husband, the love of her life died. Mark Sloan the perfection of her life. He was the only one who she loved. Their son 14 years old James Adam Montgomery Sloan was in the car with his father when they had an accident. Addison still couldn't believe it, it wasn't really, right? no no this is just a bad dream, Mark and James are there, they will come home like always, Mark and his mini-me their son, the beautiful miracle the beautiful gift. She was in shock, the little girl with the same red hair and with the same eyes gave her mother her hand, she strained her mother's hand so hard because she couldn't cry, her daddy always said her that big girls don't cry. She doesn't want to fail her daddy. She wanted make him proud about her.

After the funeral Addison invited family and friends of Mark to the dinner. Busy and Archer came to support her too, Waiss and Savvy were there and some Mark's friends who she has met in their wedding but she didn't know them well.

There was also a man with dark curly hair and he took his girlfriend too.

Addison was sitting with Carly, her daughter didn't want to leave her mother alone, she was with her all the time, she was too afraid that she would leave her too as her big bro and daddy if she leaves.

The man with his girlfriend came to them to told them their condolences.

"Hi, I'm Derek Shepherd and this is my girlfriend Meredith Grey"

"Hello Derek and Meredith." Addison didn't want to talk to them, she knew that she saw this man on their wedding but she didn't want to talk to anybody in this room.

"I knew Mark very well, he was my friend from childhood and we went to the college together..."

"Derek? Derek Shepherd?" it was Archer he didn't want to make his sister and niece uncomfortable because he knew that Addison doesn't want to talk to anybody right now so he came closer and he saw his old knew Derek for a long time, they are both neurologists, Derek in Seattle, Archer in New York.

both the best.

"Hey Archer."

"What are you doing here? Why did you come?"

"Me and Mark were friends."

"Sure, maybe you should leave Addison for a while and have a little talk with me."

"What are you doing with my sister, Derek?"

"I just wanted to say her my deepest condolences...."

"You hated Mark and you hated her. You didn't even sand any postcards or something. He stole from you your girlfriend and you hated him."

"I was at his wedding!"

"just because you wanted to be a good guy. Leave my sister alone ok? She doesn't need it. leave her alone and don't even talk to her."

Addison felt cold and empty, the only person who she loves is Carly now, she has always wanted one girl and one boy, and when Jimmy was born she and Mark were so happy. They were young. They were just 20 but they knew what they wanted, they wanted both, they wanted to be perfect parents and they wanted to be perfect surgeons and they had it all. They were surprised how much Jimmy looked like Mark, the same behavior the same eyes, dark blonde hair. Mark loved to play with him football and did all these boyish things and Addison loved to be a fan of their games, she loved to watch them play football and when they finished their med school and finally became interns she found that she is pregnant. now it was a girl. It was just perfect family image. Jim the split picture of his father, Carly Daveigh Montgomery Sloan the perfect split image of her mother.

Can you wish for more?

The day when they said Addison that her son and husband died she lost herself, she was empty, she cried but she knew that it was the day when the pieces of her went out of her. She wanted to be with them but there is Carly her girl who needs her so much. Carly didn't cry, she was sensitive child but now she didn't cry, she was almost 6 but she looks like an adult. She was there by her mother's side and she looked at the everybody, she didn't talk, she and her mother made a strange bond, they talked only to each other and they promised each other to make their life better.


	2. Moving on?

so here we go again, just because I like Carly and Addison and I want to give them a story. so Beynac, Dordogne, France I tried to find there any big city because I love Dordogne I have never been there but it seems like a nice city. so I think you can have a clinic in a small city, right? this is fanfiction so who cares :D

3 months after

Addison and Carly moved to her mother's house. Busy wanted to give her girls everything what they wanted but she just wasn't good in showing her emotions. Don't take her wrong she loves his children, but still, Archer was his father's split image and she missed Paul so much. Addison was like Busy, she has character,she is strong woman and brave and Busy is proud about her but she just wants her to be better and better. What she missed with Addison she did with Carly.

Addison knew how it is to lost a father. Her father died when she was 12. He wasn't at home very often, he was a brain surgeon but he was a nice person and he has always had a place in her heart, she knows how much her mother misses him but when she was 14 and her mother dated this guy Peter she started to blame her mother for everything bad in her life, they weren't close when Addison was a kid and when she was a teenager it was much worse, now when she has Carly she tires to be spend with her mother more time because to be honest, she was a great grandmother, Carly loves her and she loves Carly.

Things don't change so fast. She sold their house, moved away and tried to be there every free second for Carly, she still has her work but it was hard to work somewhere where everything reminds you about your husband.

and now when Savvy and Weiss are in France she didn't have so much friends.

Savvy was in love with France, she loved the piece, she loved the sun and now when they adopted twins Catherine and Luc they were completely happy.

Savvy invited Addison and Carly once or maybe twice, ok she wanted so much to be with them because she thought that Addison needs some peace, she needs to start new life, even if she knew it will be hard, she was ready to support her friend.

Addison didn't want to go out from NYC but she was thinking about this idea more and more often.

She loved NYC, but still she felt like it's too hectic and without Mark and Jim it wasn't the same, she knew that her daughter deserves something better than this.

And in Beynac there is an American clinic where she has friends, Sam and Naomi who send her postal cards and mails every week, she knew Naomi and Sam for a long long time, it was her who introduced Savvy to Naomi and Savvy was thankful about it because of Naomi they could adopt twins so fast.

Carly was playing with her Barbie, she didn't have a lot of friends and she was very shy, she was more like Addison than Mark, Mark as a child was totally wild and easy going.

Mother and daughter, strong duo, both redhead, both shy.

"Mommy will you marry another guy one day ? Will I have another daddy?" Carly asked bashfully

"What do you mean?" Addison was little bit shocked about her daughter's question

"Hmm Mike told me that his mommy died when he was 3 and now has a new mom"

"I don't know honey maybe one day......" it was too painful, maybe one day? does she really want to be all her life alone? but her love to Mark was so big, could she love again? she wasn't sure

"so I'll have another daddy?"

"sweetie, you know I loved and still do love your daddy so much, he will be always in my heart and he is your daddy but I don't know about the future. maybe we meet a guy who will be nice to us who will love us and we will be happy...." now she wanted to cry. how she will be happy without him?

"liked we used to be with Jimmy and daddy?"

"yes" Addison hugged her daughter closely and gave her a kiss"

"sweetie what do you think about France? do you know where it is?"

"yes, Ms. Cornwell showed us! of course I know mommy. They speak French and there are tons of cheese."

"would you like to move there? there are Sam and Naomi and Maya, do you remember Maya? she is one year older than you and Savvy and Weiss have twins now."

"maybeee, when are we going?"

Addison smiled about this answer. the next day she wrote a mail to Naomi

"ok I'm going.."

not the best one but I think the next chapter will be better. so what do you think?


	3. France

I don't own GA or PrP

Naomi and Sam were completely happy about Addison's idea. finally it will be like old school reunion. Addie, Sam, Nae, Savvy and Weiss, it would be fun and Addison and Carly will be happy there, this is a calm place, it is also a big win for their private practice which they have there, Addison is one of the best neonatologists in the world and their practice needs good people. now they are famous but what's wrong with being better and more famous?

(New York City, Addison at Busy's home)

"Mum I need to go, I need to change this place"

"But what about me Addison, please don't leave me, you know how much I love Carly, what about her?"

"Mum, Carly isn't happy here, it reminds us about Mark and James, we need to move. you can visit us, Nae told me that she chose a big house for me, you can visit us how often you want and we will be there for Christmas and you can have Carly for summer holidays."

"You promise?"

"I promise"

"Will you call us often?"

"I will"

"Archer is going to visit you ...."

"I know mum I talked to him."

it was the first time after so long time, Busy hugged her daughter

"I love you Addison, take care about yourself and Carly, I will visit you as soon as possible"

Addison was shocked and something something warm goes thru her body, she felt just for a second a bit of happiness

" I love you too mum, you will be welcome every time"

2moths later, Addison gave up her job in NYC, promised that if they have any good case she'll help them and was ready to go, she took Carly from school and caught the plane

first day in Byron

"Naeee!" Addison saw her old friend with little girl

they hugged and smiled

"Hey sweetie, you're Carly right? do you remember me? I'm Nae your mommy's friend and this is Maya my daughter."

"Hi" Carly said shyly

she didn't need any friends, she didn't want to talk to this girl who she even didn't remember and this woman she was so nice, she was so bright and shiny

everything was so strange, she was lost, her mum had friends here and she tried to make her comfort but she felt strange, lonely and far away her dad, she knew she said her mother that it will be ok if they move but not it was so hard, she was 6 and she knew only few world in French, of course her mother gave her to English college which wasn't far away their new home but still, she had to go to school, how it will be. she was in the same class as Maya because Addison wanted to Carly make ok and Carly was very clever girl so now it will come the hardest thing. how can they make it?

people there looked at them like they did something bad, like they have a plug or something, Naomi told them that it's because they are new here and they will use to it, it will take time, but she was afraid it will take too much time.

the first day in the new work was ....interesting

Addison took Carly with her because school starts next week and she didn't have what to do

Addison met Pete who worked in south Africa before and now he is a "woodoo doctor" , Cooper is a pediatrician which is great because Carly has now a new doctor and Violet is a psychotherapist, Dell the cute reception boy and there were tons of interns like Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens and the last one ...George? yes George O'Malley, all Americans or British expect Sofia.

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thanks for your comments Cici, greysgirl328, merder4ever33 Mien84**,**

so because this is GA fanfiction there are Izzie and Alex my two favorites and George and maybe there will be Callie, Sofia is just another intern

so what do you think Addek? or Addison with French cop? or someone new?


	4. let's have a talk

I know I know I asked about Addek or French cop and I'm still not very sure but I have a time :D i don't want to make Addison a woman who after few months after her husband's death finds another man, so we will see, write me your opinions people please. I had 6 reviews on fanfiction now! god this is so superb :D

thanks you Jasmien and Cici :)

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so ok now we are here, we will go thru this Addison said to herself, she wasn't completely sure that they can make it, she wasn't sure about anything. she left Carly with Dell who seemed like a nice boy and like Addison got known he has a daughter Betsy in the same age so Carly will have another friend. they made beautiful american village. they live like in bubble, all international ...sweet

Dell had a lots of work so he left Carly alone with puzzles when Violet went to take some coffee and she saw this little redhead girl.

"Hey, you're Carly right?"

"yes, I'm" Carly looked up at this smiling woman

"hmm I have some free time would you like to follow me so we can have a talk?" Addison told Violet about Carly, that she is very sad about her father and maybe she has trauma or something, Violet promised Addison that she will talk with her. she felt sorry for both of them and she likes to work with children so it wasn't a big deal with her, even if she'd like to talk with Addison too, she saw the look in her face which says you that she was broken, she saw that Addison's life isn't good anymore, that she wants so badly run out but she tries just because of Carly. so she smiled at Carly to make her feels safe and took her hand

"so Carly are you happy about new school? you will meet new people"

"no" she said coldly without any emotions

"sure, it's hard, but you know it's going to be ok, you will like it here, I tell you a secret I don't like first days"

"yes, they are terrible, when everybody stares at you"

"sure" Violet smiles, it will be very hard

"what's your favorite subject?"

"biology and Maths"

"so you are clever girl"

"daddy used to say it." she has tears in her eyes

"ok, sweetie I'm sorry if you don't want to talk about it, we can talk about him later"

"I want to talk about him, but it hurts so much, it hurts why it hurts?"

" sweetie one day pain will go away"

"will he be away too?"

"no he won't, he will stay with you forever, your daddy will be there whenever you'll need him"

"but I can't see him, I can't be with him"

"he is there, he is in your heart, he is in your mind, he looks at you and you can feel his love"

"what if mommy will marry, will she stop loving him?"

"sweetie do you like mommy?"

"yes"

"do you like daddy?"

"yes"

"and how can you love them? you have one heart and you love two people? you know that your heart looks small but it's huge, it's never ending, you can love so many people, you can love daddy, mommy, granny, your friends. mommy can love your daddy and she can love another man one day."

"how do you know it?"

"do you know how many stars are in the space?"

"many"

"many? how do you know it?"

"Mrs. Clark said it"

"and why do you think she was right?"

" I believe her"

"so I, I believe that your daddy is there, I believe that your brother is there, I believe that my granny is there because hope it's everything what we have"

she looked up and saw Addison with tears in her eyes, she heard everything and it made her feel twisty, she knew that everything what Violet said was true but still the pain goes so slowly

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so what do you think? better? worse? like or don't like? do you have any suggestions?

thanks you so much, I'm so sorry I didn't write any medical case but I'm too bad in it, mostly of my friends what to be doctors but I'm just too stupid for it :D

thanks you again


	5. you gave up

thanks so much for your support, you don't know how much does it mean for me!

I have so much things in my mind that I want to write this story little bit faster but you will see, I'm doing my best because I don't like when stories go too slowly :P

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first days are always terrible, you don't know what to expect, everybody is new, everything is strange.

but after few months you take it, you become the one of crowd. people in the small villages don't like strangers but when you show them that you're a nice person who tries to live your life and that you really don't care about their opinions they let you be. people here in France are used to meet new selfish people from America but this woman she is different, she is tall and beautiful, she is beautiful and you can see all the history in her face, you can see how much pain is in her, you much she is strong and that's why people like her, they like her but still it is so scary to talk to her, she walks like ghost, her beauty is as famous as her medical skills and every man wants her but they are too afraid. Dc. Addison Montgomery has lived there for 4 months and she has became legend. she has saved so many babies and mothers, she lost some of them but she has always tried the best. people started to like her and they wish her to be happy. but how can you be if the life doesn't let you?

Addison didn't like this calm place, too boring and everything what people do there was working, cooking and going to pubs during the weekends but there were something beautiful, something peaceful, people were nicer and calmer than in NY, they enjoyed their life, they liked to talk and Carly became friends with Maya and Betsy and some other smaller boy, the son of Alex Karev and Izzie Stevens - 3 years old Logan.

Interns are fine, Izzie is a good helper, Alex is a cocky boy who are little bit arrogant but he will be the good surgeon one day, Sofia is little bit selfish and Addison didn't like her at all, she works with Sam most of the time and she was sure that Sam liked her a lot, he and Naomi divorced because maybe because they were bored of each other, who knows, Addison was sure they belong together. Violet and Pete started their relationship and they look so cute. Carly goes to the therapy seasons with Violet and she gets better and better, it was the only thing what has made Addison smile.

but after 4 peaceful moths someone called the doctor Addison Forbes Montgomery Sloan because of the important case

"Addison why you didn't pick up my phone? this is your mother, Addison please call me as soon as possible"

after the work when Addison was tired and she made some homework with Carly she read the message and she called her mother immediately.

"Mum what's wrong?"

"Addison your brother had an accident."

"What kind of accident do you mean?"

"he he has had some drug problems and and ....." she started to cry, her poor little boy

"what? what are you talking about? you mean that Archer is addicted?"

"yes he ..."

"what.."

"what?"

"what does he take?"

"coke, speed"

"god are you kidding me, how long?"

"Addison I'm

"not sorry mum, how long?"

"about year"

"year? oh no, and you didn't say me? you didn't even care to say me that my brother is addicted?"

"Addison listen to me, Archer had a car accident and I want you to take care of him..."

"sorry what do you mean take care of him?"

"Addison I don't have time, I need you to take care of him"

"what?"

"Roger and I are going to have a wedding soon and we will have a honeymoon and Roger, Roger doesn't want to have any connection with me if I stay with Archer"

"Mum god, he is your son!"

" He is addicted, do you know what does it mean when you have a son who is junkie?"

"you know what, if you want to be selfish just be selfish, enjoy your life like you have always done, don't care about anybody, I thought you can change, but like I can see there isn't any chances that you can be different, tell me the address of the hospital I'll call them ...."

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so what do you think? good? bad? better? worse? like or dislike? any suggestions? please review and thanks for reading, sorry for all mistakes

GA or PrP isn't mine!


	6. Almost lovers

I don't know how these super authors do it that their stories are so cool. you can check my profile and read them.

thanks you for reading! please leave me a review

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Addison didn't sleep last night, everything what can she thought about was her older brother Archer. Busy left them all alone again, after her father's death she and Archer had just each other. Nobody even cared about them, their mother started to date other guys and she started to drink as much as she could. she doesn't stop right now, she smokes and drinks and lives with this stranger from somewhere ...Roger, yes Roger is his name.

When she was pregnant with Carly she promised herself that she won't be the same mother, she has never let Carly alone for more than 1 day with someone else. When she needed to go to the hospital she let her with Naomi or Savvy when she was in New York.

New York, Addison is going to New York again, she will pick up Archer to France and Naomi told her that some doctor from Seattle will come to them because she hired him and it will be good if Addison can talk to him and take him with her so he won't feel so lost as Addison felt when she came here.

of course Addison was completely annoyed with this stupid idea. but who cares. at least Naomi doesn't.

"Naomi has problems, Naomi has problems" Addison repeated it to herself because it made her feel better, her friend was there when she needed her and she is there when she needs her, so Addison tires to be a good friend, she will pick this cute doctor from Seattle with her to the helicopter and she will tell him about her genius drug addicted brother who is brilliant surgeon who messed up his life. so great and she will leave Carly for one week in France because she didn't want to let her daughter see her pale thin broken uncle.

one week later Addison was prepared to leave France and go to NYC she said hi to her lovely daughter, gave Naomi all instructions about what Carly loves and what she hates and she made sure everything will be ok when she won't be there, she said bye to her patients who now believe her and she scratched their dog Aaron and cat Cassandra.

she missed New York City, she missed it so much. she loved busy places, so big energy and she just loves big cities but France is calm and cute and it's not also too bad.

when she woke up she wanted to visit someone, she wanted to visit the graveyard where her son and husband are laying.

she bought big bouquet of red roses for Mark and to James she bought the little model of guitar.

"I miss you, I miss you so much, I can't sleep without you in my mind, I can't watch to my daughter's eyes because everything what I can see is YOU!"

she started to scream and cry, she started to scream as loudly as she could

"can you just leave me? can you just leave me?! you went, you went and you left me there all alone with Carly. have you ever thought about her? how can I do it without you? please Mark leaves me alone, I need to move but I can't because everything what I can hear is your voice, everything what I can see is your face, I feel your breathe like you lay next to me every night, when I see someone in James's age I see only him, I feel so empty and so full, I feel so sad and I want to be happy, I feel so dead and I'm alive, why did you do it to me? why? ddi I deserve this?"

she felt on her knees and started to cry more and more loudly, after one hour of laying in the grass she woke up and went straight back to the hotel room.

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big thanks to merder4ever33 for her reviews :)


	7. Brothers and sisters

this chapter is called Brothers and Sisters and it will be about Addison/Archer relationship etc. there will be little brother+sister talk, some memories and some new starts. in the next chapter we will finally meet Derek.

I'm listening to the song Turpentine by Brandi Carlile, this song is about siblings about how we're growing and starting to live differently.

so I'd like to dedicated this chapter to my lovely sis. who I guess will never read this story and she doesn't even know how much she means for me.

I also want to thank Cici for her support and I hope she, Alex and Moa are going to be ok soon.

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Addison was sitting on the bed in her hotel room, she was afraid to go and see her brother. She called Carly to make sure that everything is ok, she changed her black dress to old blue jeans and white t-shirt with Marilyn Monroe on it and brown jacket. she took this t-shirt because Archer gave her it when she was 18 and she dated his best friend Michael, he knew he had a thing for Marilyn and Addison was so in love that he gave her this t-shirt to make her happy and feel more sure that Michael will like her. Michael and Addison were together for 2 years they split but their relationship was sweet as teenage relationships are.

Archer has been a good brother. he has been very protective but he and Addison have made a bond against Busy against all the world, they were two of "these who will save the world" both brilliant doctors both quite good looking, they loved their childhood plays. Addison wasn't this kind of person who would like to go fishing but when they were young and they went to visit their old auntie Maureen in Maine, they went fishing, the second husband of auntie Maureen was sailor and he knew how to fish it was a big adventure for both of them.

When they were young and their father came home after his long surgery he talked to them how he made a big miracle and how it is good to save someone's life. that was the moment when both of them knew what they want to do in the future. they wanted to be heroes like he.

when their father died and Busy started to be more and more absent it was Archer who was mother and father for Addison. he made sure she dated a great guy, he made sure she had everything to her school that nobody bulled her because of her braces and that she is ok.

and now, now her big brother needed help and she was there, she needed to be there, he messed up, everybody makes mistakes, he just messed up. they can go thru this, she is no Busy, she doesn't judge him, she still loves him like always and he is still a good doc, he was addicted but yes everybody makes mistakes. she said it to herself like 100x times and finally she closed the doors of her hotel room and went took the taxi to the hospital.

she took a deep breath and went to his room. he was awake.

god finally after one week, after the brain surgery, someone came, he was happy and sad because he saw his sister, he knew she has a bad time and now, she has to deal with him, he felt sorry but he was happy because she was the only one who cared.

"hey" she almost whisper, she wanted to cry but she couldn't maybe her eyes run out of water?

"Hi, Addie. you come. I thought you wouldn't"

"of course, how I couldn't ? I can't leave my bro deals with it on his own" she smiled little bit, sit next to his bed and took his hand

"I know I made a big, stupid, huge, terrible mistake. I'm sorry."

"Yes you did, but everybody makes mistakes even Archer Montgomery"

they started to laugh, they talked about their childhood together, how were they happy, how they miss each other and they talked about France, about Archer's new work in Wellness Center, about their old friends, about Carly, about new start.

Addison went out of the room with smile on her face. she had a plan, she made a plan about making her life better.

"oh, I'm sorry aren't you Dr, Montgomery-Sloan?"

"Yes, yes this is me and you are maybe this guy who made a surgery on my brother, aren't you?"

"yes I'm Derek Shepherd"

"right, we met before Dr, Shepherd, I wanted to thank you for everything what you did to my brother."

"I'm glad to help, that's why I'm here, to help people :). Actually I wanted to ask when we will going to France?"

"Pardon?" she was little bit confused, France? this doctor who she met in the cemetery?

"Yes I'm the new neurosurgeon in the Wellness center and Byron's hospital"

"Oh of course. I'm so sorry I didn't know it is you, but I thought we can leave in Friday? is it ok with you?"

"as soon as possible Dr. Montgomery "

he didn't want to be in NYC no more no after that, he wanted a fresh new start, but how can he make it? maybe he can try, he can try and start to live a little sweet lie. who knows

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thanks you for reading and sorry for all these stupid mistakes :) please **REVIEW **


	8. Give me a little hope

so here is the new chapter. I hope you'll enjoy it, so please let me know what do you think about it. what do you like and what you don't like. any suggestions etc. you know feedback is important for everyone, I guess you have many other things to do, but it doesn't take so much time :)

thanks you all!

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Addison was at the cemetery every day when she was in NYC, she went along the streets where she and Mark was going, where they were buying presents for their kids, where they had a dinner, picnic, date.

People say that pain go away but do you believe it? is time everything you need? it was 7 months after her two important men died and she didn't feel better or worse she feels the same. When Addison gave birth to Carly she almost died and she said Mark to not be alone if she died, she didn't want him to cry for long.

She missed Carly so badly she called her every 3houres and she didn't care about the bill, about the money. Archer was getting better and better, it was because Addison was there, finally one person on his side.

He felt like he did a big huge mistake and he didn't want to let his sister just helps him from his problems so he decided to help her with it and he did everything. He loved his work and he was really the best but now everybody stared at him like he is just a junkie. Their judgement made him feel terrible and annoyed him all the time, he couldn't wait to start a new chapter in his life.

He wanted to be there for Addison, he wanted to be there for his niece and maybe maybe there was a little hope that something good will happen to Montgomeries.

Addison was waling along the streets and she went to flower shop to bought Archer some flowers, of course Archer didn't like flowers but he is not the one who can judge. She just went and bought him flowers because she wanted.

"I bought you some nice flowers"she smiled at him when she saw the look in his face

"Add, I'm not a girl"

"oh c'ome on Archie, I know you love flowers" she said it with innocent tone in her voice so Archer started laughing

"ok, I don't want to argue with you, when are we leaving. I can't stand it there, my so workers stare at me like I'm the worst person ever. "

"in two days. I'm going to pack your things today, buy some presents for Carly and friends, what about you? any special orders?"

"no no sis, just pack my things, some clothes, books. do you have the key?"

"yes you know I lived there too"

"hahaha true, we had good times, didn't we? parties, friends, studying ..."

"you're so sweet when you are nostalgic"

"oh I'm not! I just love my student years..." they laughed

"ok my old man I'm going, I'll visit you when I'll be done. have a good day. I bring you some books if you want, Dr. Shepherd said that you can read again, but not too much." she kissed him and went out of his room

Derek was going along the hall like he wasn't even there. he thought every night in his hotel room only about France, he couldn't wait till he'll be there out of this hell.

"Morning Dr. Shepherd"

"Oh, Dr. Montgomery Sloan"

"Yes, I'm glad you remember my name. are you ready? we're leaving in 3 days."

"sure I'm packing my things, learning some french words, drinking wine..."

"Sure.......so will you bring your wife with you?"

"My who?"

"oh I thought you have a wife..."

"no my....no I don't have a wife, I'll go on my own." he was shocked about her questions but after he looked at her he was calm again

"you're going with me and Archer in the helicopter right?"

"ok, that's great. I wanted to thank you for everything again ...."

"you're welcome, I'm the doctor you know, this is my work."

she smiled at him, waved and went out to the city , Addison used to love shopping but now she didn't really care.

She bought some beautiful clothes for Naomi and Violet, little clothes for Violet's baby, some woodoo things in China town for Pete, some crazy thing for Cooper, toys, clothes and books for Carly, good coffee and cigars for Sam and girly stuffs for Maya, big bear for Betsy and a book "How to be the best daddy" for Dell

When she came to her brother's flat is was looked the same when they lived there together.

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next chapter you will see some memories and Derek and maybe coming to France

thanks you for reading and please write me a comment


	9. Pictures of my life

wohoo 9th chapter! this is my record people :D so I hope you like it, reviews, comments make me happy :) so please please "making puppy eyes"

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when Addison came into Archer's flat it was messy but clean, of course Archer has housecleaner or maybe the housecleaner is his "good time girl" who cares, when Addison lived there with Archer during her residency it was always messy but clean because was the only one who tired to make it clean, when she and Mark bought a flat she always visited Archer to see if he doesn't destroy everything there.

After the remembering good old times she went upstairs and was big boxes with old things like their childhood photos.

Smiling Addison with braces and Archer in his baseball dress, in the other side of the picture was the line written by Archer "Archie and Addie A siblings forever"

She saw the picture of tall dark haired man with thin gorgeous woman, her hair was french brained and her grey eyes were beautiful and shiny, they were dressed in black, next to them stand a boy with a tie, dark shirt and straight black pants, next to the man there was a little redhead with long curly hair also in black, the boy looked little bit bored, the girl was afraid, husband and wife looked cold and non familiar. no it wasn't a family portrait it was just a portrait of people who are related but they aren't the family.

She saw the picture of her and Mark's wedding. James was 1 years old and everyone seems so happy. Her mother was there but not in any pictures, she didn't like Addison's dress, she didn't like Mark, the food, their friends.

There were a pic of Addison with Mark both smiling and happy, Archer and his girlfriend Brittany, Sam and Naomi and a guy who she knows. of course Derek Shepherd, his hair wasn't so fabulous and he wasn't the most gorgeous man in the room like he is in these days but he looked quite happy too.

Addison felt warm again, her heart was felt like it has emotions, she wanted to feel like this forever. but now it was a time to pack all the things. so she took some clothes, books, notebook, she took the taxi, went back to her hotel room, had a rest and after it she went back to the hospital to visit Archer.

She saw that he is exhausted of everything, about the gossips about the looks in people's faces, about laying in this stupid bad when she came there were a light in his eyes.

"I don't wanna be here"

"oh come on you talk as a baby. I wannaaa goo hooome" she made fun of him and he laughed a little bit

"don't be cruel sis"

"oh you see, we're related. A siblings forever"

"so you found childhood pics ...."

"yes good old times, remember our auntie Teri she was so fun loving person, the lakes in Connecticut, summers in Maine"

"yes good old times...."

"do you, do you think our parents have loved us? do you think they cate?

"I don't know Add, they wanted the best for us."

" I know we have the best education, we have money and we had big rooms, nannies and toys. designed cloths when we were a teenagers but did they love us?"

" I think dad cared, but he just didn't show this, mum is also bad in showing emotions and we had a lots of friends and relatives so we had family"

"Archer what are talking about? we had family? where are they? where are your loving caring friends? where are they now? where is Bizzy? she stays with someone who does love her just for her money..."

tears fell down her cheeks and Archer squeezed her hand little bit

"Add, you have family and I hope I have family....."

"I just want Carly to grew up with family, with someone who loves her"

"you are a good mother,she has you and I'm the best uncle in the world you know, her friends will love me "

she laughed about this, Archer was always there for her when she needed to cheer up and he knows what she needs.

This is why we need older brothers

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so what do you think? isn't it boring? or do you like it? please what do you think? I know I said there will be Derek but maybe next chapter?

please review

thanks a lot :)


	10. Hope for hopeless

wohoo I have to say I'm proud about myself, I didn't stop writing and this is my 10th chapter. well I hope I'm going to upload Weird neighbors soon because I'd like to see what do people think

I'd like to thanks you so much for your support because it really means a lot for me, I'm not good in many things and yes I know I still have to learn about writing and I'm not going to be as good as others

so please tell me your opinion

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Addison went to the graveyard to change the flowers on the James's and Mark's graves.

"Hi Mark, hey my darling son, I don't have so many things to say. I'm sorry that I was screaming last time, I'm sorry. You know Archer, he is at the hospital, he had a brain surgery because he was in the accident and he took drugs so it is hard for him........Carly, she is perfect, she is one of the best student in her class, she and Maya, you know Naomi's girl are friends now, they are totally in love with Charmed, they watch it in the French tV and in the American satellite Tv and they and Betsy, the little girl of our Dell, they are Piper and Pheobe and Prue and also the little one girl Vanessa of our neighbor is there too. Our Charmed girls. Carly is Piper of course, she is the piece maker. James would like it here, so many chicks are here, you would have a beautiful girlfriend......I miss you, I miss you so much. I can imagine you James, like you're playing the guitar with Kurt Cobain and your dad have a talk with John Lennon and you make fun of him because come one Beattles?! Wait for me there because one day I'll come, I promise one day we will be together again"

and with that words she left, she went away and she knew it was the last time for the long time

She was done with it, she was done with New York, with happy life, she was done with it.

Mark and James didn't fight for their life, she was done with them, they didn't fight, they didn't try, they left her there alone so now now it's her turn and she is moving, She is in France. One year is enough, it's enough.

It was the day when they are moving. Addison packed her things, she send Archer's things to France, she called Naomi and send all the Christmas presents to France, called Carly to told her that she is coming and went to the hospital to check if Archer is ready to go to helicopter.

When she checked on Archer she went to see Derek if he is ready, he was a great supporter for all these days when she was there and they become closer to each other.

"so today is this day"

"yeah this day" he gave her this famous smile and finally he was happy

"so are you ready?" she really wasn't sure how to make the right conversation

"yes I'm more than ready"

"good so at 6 pm?"

"see you at 6"

Derek was thinking about all these things in his life which he messed up. Can he be finally happy in France? What about this girl Addison? she was the wife of his ex best friend isn't it awful? and he is still married, no his marriage ...... he can't forget about his wife. What if she come? Where is she? what is she doing?

Addison was ready, she was calm and fine with all facts, she was ready to take care about Archer, to help him with all these things. She was ready to be a good and better mum to Carly.

(6 pm, New York City)

"so here we go we're leaving"

"yeah finally"

finally, yes New York was just like big awful stone and they were happy to leave it there

Derek was wondering what will come, Addison was wondering what will come and Archer just wanted to have his perfect life back

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so now you know about Derek's wife :D I didn't want to tell you but it just comes so yes he is married and how it will go with him and Addison hmm I'm not sure yet

so what do you thing? good? bad?

thanks for reading please leave a comment :)


	11. Coming back

sorry for not uploading so long but now it will be better, thanks you so much for reviews, it means a lot!

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Archer wasn't ready to face his old friends from university but he was glad that he is going away from this awful hospital, only one month of recovery, two weeks at the local hospital then he can go to home. Addison told him that Violet, her friend who is a psychologist will be his supervisor and helper to deal with drugs. Not that he needs any help, he has lived without drugs for 2 months and he was pretty sure that the reason why he was at the hospital for so long was that his younger sister just wanted him to take away from drugs.

He nodded about everything Addison told him, he didn't want to cause more problems to her. He thought maybe if he does everything what she wants and what want his doctors it is going to be ok and he is going to be a brilliant doctor as soon as possible.

Addison told him that there is a chance that Naomi will need another doctor in her practice and it made him feel happy and hopeful.

Addison talked about it with Naomi who wasn't sure if she wants somebody new in her practice but these days it was too hard to say no to Addison.

Addison didn't talk during the way from New York city, it took them 6 hours and there were in the lovely country which Addison misses so much, After 3 hours of making sure that Archer will be ok at the hospital, that he has everything what he needs she went to meet her friends.

She was totally exhausted and it was clearly to see, Derek was there to support her.

She wanted him to meet his new colleagues.

When they came into the practice they noticed the big cloth with the "welcome home Derek and Addison" upon their heads.

Addison smiled and hugged everybody, kissed everybody and when she finally found asleep little girl

"hello mommy, I missed you so much"

"oh I missed you too honey. I love you so much" she said with tears.

when Addison took Carly home and said goodbye to everyone she noticed that Derek was still there and looked little bit confused.

"ehm you didn't book the hotel room, did you?"

"no I'm sorry. I didn't, can you tell me where the hotel is?"

"well the owner of the hotel doesn't like the hosts so much and not even annoying one"

"I'm not annoying!"

"you are little bit...." she teased him and smiled, not just smiled but her heart smiled little bit too

"ok, gentleman you can sleep on our gauche, just gauche. we have a big house"

"thank you so much"

"you saved my brother I'm the one who says thanks here"

"no Addison, this is my job....."

"don't talk about it, pick your things from the taxi, I'm going to take Carly"

"ok"

Derek knew that he likes her and it was clearly that she is more than just thankful that there is something which other call chemistry.

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so opinions? suggestions? like? dislike? please review it doesn't take a lot of time!


	12. Just a little dream

**here is the chapter n.12! see? I upload much more faster :) **

**so please be so so so so kind and write me a review**

**thanks **

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_Dark forest, trees trees everywhere, she could feel the wind, the cold and someone's hand squeezed her hand. _

_She was scared and cold, she wanted to go away. She looked up at the person and she was her mother, pale as her with bright red head and with hopeful smile _

_"we will be there honey, just keep going" _

_and she did what her mother told her she went with her, _

_She didn't care about pain or about tiredness. She knew that there is a pint why they are going so far away. _

_then when the forest wasn't so dark and she could see some lights, she saw how her mother's smile got bigger and warmer. _

_Then she saw the two dark silhouettes _

_"Come to me, Addison love, come home"_

_"Mum, I missed you so badly. Come and play with me, I know new accords,"_

_"Addison, Addie it will be better here, we will be family again, come to me"_

_Then she noticed her father, her brother and the gravestones and roods, pale bodies of her smiling brother and father. _

_She looked at her mother, her hand wasn't in her, she was going, she was leaving her_

_"Mum, mum don't leave me! Mum please don't go. Mommy, mommy"_

she started to cry so hard that she woke up. she felt like her mouth is completely dry so she decided to go to the kitchen and have some drink.

Derek couldn't sleep, he was thinking about how would it be if he asked Addison on a date. But he wasn't ready and she wasn't ready.

He noticed the tiny person with teddy bear in her hand.

"Hey Carly, it's me Derek don't be afraid." and he switch on the little table lamp.

She remembered Derek from last night and stopped being afraid so she went down the stairs to get some water.

"Did you have a bad dream?"

she nodded

"I couldn't sleep either. What was the dream about?"

"About mommy....."

"And that scared you?"

"I think my mommy wants to leave me"

"No baby she doesn't " he looked at her and recognized himself

"you don't know it!"

"When my daddy died and I saw my mommy sad I thought she is sad because of me, I thought maybe I'm not so good and that's why she can't be like she used to be. I wanted to replace my daddy for her and I tried the best. once I dressed up in my dad's cloths to be like him and my mother yelled at me, I started cry and after some hours she came to me and felt really sorry"

"My mommy hasn't yelled at me"

"you mommy is really good"

".....the best one"

"sure she is"

and they were sitting here for long long 2 hours.

The girl who was lost and afraid of losing her mother and the man who was too afraid to loosing himself and start the new life.

Am I a good daughter? Does she love me? Is she going to be here to me?

Maybe i should work harder at school and stop spending so much time with friends.

She has saved so many babies, would she save mine?

Does she see that it hurts me to see her like that?

will she find a new guy?

will she like him more than daddy?

Am I going to save this? was it a right step? is this a right place to recovery?

what if she finds him? does she like me still? do i like her?

should I find someone else?

should I start something with Addison?

won't I hurt her and her girl?

Am I the bad guy?

Am I the one who she needs right now?

the man and the girl too lost in their own thoughts, too lost in their own worlds.

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**it was like a horror chapter or something :D **

**please please did you like it? **

**I would be so happy if you write me your review! **

**thanks **


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